27th August

Turned up with Tanya to our English class this morning, only to find it was cancelled for the DUTA (Delhi Uni Teacher’s Assoc.) elections. Went and sat on one of the benches outside and talked for a bit until we got covered in ants and god knows what else. She asked me why I had wanted to come here, as some Indian people were so unfriendly, and mean. The men in the English Office are mean to be sure, but for the most part, everyone here is incredibly friendly and welcoming. It can get slightly invasive, coming form such a standoffish place as Britain. We don’t go up to random strangers and hold their hand and ask them every detail of their family and personal life. But here, there is no embarrassment. Most people just seem to want to practice their English, and they are all genuinely curious about us. I suppose that because of family and caste relationships here, asking someone what their father’s name is and what he does can automatically place that person in the caste hierarchy and then you know how to treat them. Of course, don’t get me wrong; there are creeps enough to keep us occupied. Last night when Lauren and I were coming home from AIM a man and his son rode past on a bike and yelled Vechya! At us, and I think that means whore. The motorbikes all swerve to hit you and then turn at the last minute. A car decided to curb crawl for a little so we had to resort to the cholera-ditch pavement.

After this, I went to Barista and had an espresso to try and wake myself up. It was not particularly great however, so I think I might steer clear of that one from now on.

History class this morning was on, despite elections. I am glad our History professor seems less concerned with the millions of possible days off he could have and actually wants to teach us, unlike so many of the others. Today’s lecture was on the decline of Mughal legitimization of the EIC in the 1830s and 1840s, in an attempt to show that 1857 wasn’t the only breaking point of Mughal sovereignty. Of course it was a major factor, as the trial of Bahadur Shah Zafar demonstrates. The British tried him for treason, but up until that point the British had acted as diwans of the emperor, actively gaining a ferman (order) to rule over the territory they did. Until the 1830s they had even paid nazr, or tribute, regularly to the emperor. Their active engagement in court protocol meant that the emperor was sovereign. Effectively, the British tried Bahadur for treason against himself.

We also began to talk about racial theory as a major structure in colonialism, and I think this topic is going to be incredibly interesting. I really enjoyed the small bits of it we did in 2^nd year about racial discourse, pseudo-science and the creation of the ‘other’ in popular culture.

After history, myself and Amanda parted ways for our separate coffee houses. I found out the word for chickpea curry thing is ‘chole’. Always useful. Went to Coffee Day after lunch and had a Kaapi Nirvana. We need to stop having so many iced coffees, but damn they are just so good. There was a really loud American in the café who had his socks on in his sandals. It made me cringe. He had acquired an entourage of curious Indian guys who kept giggling at him and his incredibly loud accent. I know it is a stereotype of sorts, but Americans can be very loud and very brash if they feel like it.

The rain began whilst I was in the café and didn’t seem to be letting up any time soon. I like the rain here. It is unlike at home, where it is just a continuous rain or drizzle. Here, the rain drops are huge: they really hit you. The streets fill up with water incredibly quickly and soon the place is flooded up to the pavement. I wonder if that is why the pavements are so high here, to keep the flood water off the shop floors. Decided to make a run for it to Hindi and hailed a rickshaw. My driver was great, he sang the entire way and when he reached a flooded part of the road gave my legs a whack and told me to lift them up so he could slice through the water. It was great fun. He was mad. He also tried to charge me 20 Rs to get from Kamla Nagar to the Uni on account of the rain. I gave him 15Rs as a compromise. Really it shouldn’t cost more than 10…but he was quite cool and I liked his singing.

The road into the Conference Centre was blocked with water so I had to hitch my trousers up and wade. Thankfully did not feel anything more offensive than a leaf around my leg. Hindi was quite good today, though we are incredibly incompetent. We were taught the past tense today, and I can say with confidence that my understanding has hit a brick wall. Once more however, the feminine endings are all the same. At least talking about myself will be relatively simple.

When we came back to the hostel, I went to the gym. It is a great de-stressor. Afterwards I was in the shower when I discovered an ant in my knickers! Absolutely horrifying. Lauren has had ants in her pants already, but I have to say when it happens to you, you cant help but feel a little concerned about where said ant has been for the past few hours.

After dinner Lauren and I went out to AIM and made use of the internet. I managed to skype Iain and Frances. They have both just finished their resits, and Iain had been out to celebrate with Iain-Alex and had a massive hangover. I find it annoying that he never seems to throw up after a night out. I always have terrible hangovers, and always I am sick in the morning. Frances said she was celebrating the sober way by watching Thumbellina. I think I would be with Iain though, and have a stiff drink.

Tried to get mum on Skype, but I think my phone isn’t sending texts, as I have sent a couple in past few days and had no reply. Oh well,

Birthday tomorrow! I am going to be old! People can no longer dismiss me as ‘only a teenager!’ I doubt I will feel any different.

26th August

Today has been a very unexciting day. Spent most of the morning in AIM, my new spiritual home. They like us so much we get discounts now. It is fairly ridiculous how often we are in here.

Kaus, one of the Dutch, has announced that he has decided to go home to Amsterdam. I find this strange, as out of the four of him, he seems the most ready to try everything and accept a lot more. He says he hates Delhi, and seeing as this semester would count for nothing back home, he has decided to go back. What he really wants to do is travel in India, not stay cooped up in the hostel, which is fair enough I guess.

We had Hindi class yet again today. We have learnt the present tense, and the present continuous. I can now tell someone I am eating mangoes = “Mai aam kharahii huu”. There are different verb endings for masculine people and words, but with feminine they seem to have decided that it ends in ‘ii’ and that is an end of it. As usual, women have less choice and variety in their lives.

We came home to the hostel and sat around for a while in my room, with Lauren taking timed camera shots of us. We now have many shots of myself and Amanda looking unclean and unhappy with Lauren.

Today has been so completely unproductive. I tried practicing Hindi but I think it might be pointless.

Mum phoned to tell me that she thinks Rajasthan is a better bet than Darjeeling, which is fair enough. Everybody loves tiger safari. I found her assertion that the hotel they were looking at was in Connaught Place, and then admitting that it was actually ten minutes away from CP. Ten minutes from CP is very different from CP itself. I wouldn’t stay on CP, it is just so run-down and stagnant feeling. I know it has some of the best shops (if you mean Western ones) and some nice restaurants, but I jus don’t think staying there would be very pleasant. Ten minutes form CP though, and you are in diplomatic territory, and the whole thing gets a lot greener and a lot more posh. I am sure a hotel there will be lovely, and way out of my personal price range. I think my rents will find North Delhi a shock in comparison to the South and Central! I will have to take them to Chandni Chowk and Old Delhi so they can experience the crowds and the street vendors and the rickshaws all jostling for dominance in the tiny alleyways and mud strewn streets.

25th August

Well, today was slightly more productive than yesterday. Apart from class this morning, which included a great lecture on the Republic by Plato, Lauren, Ben and I made an excursion to Chandni Chowk. We wandered around the streets for a little bit until we finally managed to find the Jamma Masjid mosque. It is huge, built out of the same stone as the Red Fort. You have to climb up some stairs to get up onto the level of it, and then it opens out into a huge open air courtyard and then the mosque itself sits at the top end. It is all faced with marble up there, and there is a lot of intricate detail around the pillars and minarets. We had to take our shoes off when we went in, and then Lauren and I were forced to put on these terrible bright orange smocks to cover our ‘inappropriate’ clothing. What I didn’t understand though, as that I was wearing long trousers and sleeves, with almost nothing, except my face, on show, and yet I had to wear one of the smocks despite some other women wearing cropped trousers and v-necks. I think it might be just a marker for tourists in order to humiliate you.

We sat and wandered for about three hours in the mosque. The stone was hot to walk on, so we sat on the cooler marble in the mosque itself. I didn’t understand why so many men were just sitting around the place; didn’t they have jobs? I know it is  Ramadan, as many girls are getting up at 4am to eat and pray, but that doesn’t mean they get time off. Very odd. A lot of school boys kept on coming up to me and Lauren and saying ‘Hello madam!’ before running off giggling with their friends, having won major man points for their trouble. Ben and Lauren went up the minaret, but I wasn’t in the mood to negotiate the stairs and decided to sit at the pool in the middle of the court yard and read some more Plato.  All very civilized. Men would keep standing over me to try and work out what I was reading. Everyone was just washing their faces and drinking the water from the pool, and then spitting into the ditch running along it. It was quite peaceful in its own way.

After this we went back through Chandni Chowk. A word on this area: this is Old Delhi, or the Muslim Quarter. Here, there are tones of tiny streets that lead you to a treasure trove of saree and silver shops. The silver shops are amazing: some of them have incredibly tacky modern jewelry, but some have beautiful antique silver things that you get the impression cost a bomb. The bridal jewelry was all pretty elaborate and pretty as well. I find the nose-earring contraption quite appealing. Everyone wants their face to jingle as they walk… You see sometimes on posters of men's faces people have graffitied these earring things on to their face rather than devil horns and a mustache. We will have to go back, but Lauren was feeling sick, so we got the metro back to the hostel.

Spent a while in the gym tonight, but found it quite hard. I think the illness put paid to a lot of my energy.

My wireless still isn’t working. Had a brief five minutes on the net on Amanda’s computer and got a message from Iain saying he has spent over £100 calling me in the past three weeks. I feel terrible about it, and I am going to insist on paying half of it at least, but Iain has told me not to think about it. I owe him big time.

Watched another Hindi film tonight with the Lithuanians. It was called ‘Delhi 6’, which is somewhat ironic as that is basically Chandni Chowk, so we had many scenic views of the mosque and the jalebi stalls and crowded streets. I didn’t really understand what was going on, but it was better than Kaminey I think. There was more singing and dancing going on as well, which is always a plus in my book! I think it was about a man who comes with his mother to Delhi from New York, and then falls in love with a neighbouring family’s daughter, who wants to be a singer. She is being forced into an arranged marriage, but then there is a huge fight between the Muslims and Hindus and our hero gets caught in the crossfire. The whole thing ends with him gasping for air in an ambulance and everyone praising God that he is going to be ok. Though, as far as I know, a gunshot wound to the stomach and general beating, coupled with the heart attack he has when he first gets in the ambulance, doesn’t bode well, and is certainly not a cause for celebration. Hindi films are all very weird.

 

24th August

Well, I survived the night. However, got up for some tea and yoghurt so as to settle my stomach for the day and then promptly threw it all back up. Not pleasant.

Decided to miss class, as may throw up again and there are no bathrooms in Arts building. None of us are going to Hindi class anyway it seems, as having been ill everyone thinks they will just a get a relapse if they spend too long in that god-awful room.

Slept instead.

Went out to AIM and then came home by the time the head ache had set in. Slept a bit more. Managed to eat a cereal bar and some chapatti that has not as of yet come back up. There have been quite a lot of near misses though. Occasionally my stomach makes ominous gurgling noises that do not bode well. I think it plain food for me for the next few days.

My internet says that it is connected, and yet it will not actually connect. Bloody annoying, I have to say. I would love to be able to call home or something but no. Damn this infernal country!

Spent the afternoon in much the same way as I spent the morning: lying around. It is some how hotter in my room than it is outside. Never good.

Went down for afternoon tea and met an Iranian girl, and ex-pat and a girl from Sri Lanka. The girl from Sri Lanka told us that she had met an American once in Sri Lanka, who, by the end of her three month stay, had mastered the language so much that she was even acting in plays. I somehow doubt that we will reach such a level of proficiency by that time. Strangely, the ex-pat girl has been to many international schools, and has the exact same accent as my other friend from an international school. Very weird. It is a kind of Americanised accent, but you still find it hard to place.

I have worked out why my laptop’s plastic coating appears to be burning completely randomly: my mosquito repellent has the same ingredients as nail polish remover. I feel slightly apprehensive about the fact that this lotion I put on my skin every day and night is capable of melting plastic.

Tonight was another exciting dinner of dry chapatti. Went up to Lauren’s room and made use of her internet. Mine is still saying connected and yet not connecting.

Called mum to say happy birthday and so on. I sent her a card, but Christ knows when it will arrive. Perhaps before September, but I doubt it. Apparently granny C has just got the letter I sent to her quite a wee while ago that was meant to take a week and has proven to take two. Oh well, nothing ever runs smooth here. At least I gave her a card and so on before I left. She was telling me about their plans to come and see me, and apparently Trail Finders are going to charge a bomb, and they want them to stay two nights in Agora. I know for a fact that train tickets to Agora for second class AC are under five pounds each and the journey only takes two hours. The Taj is then 750 Rs for foreigners. And, that is basically all there is in Agora, so why you would need to spend two nights there is beyond me. It is a day trip at the most. Also, everyone tells me the food in Agora is the most unsanitary for miles around, and so you should take your own provisions with you. Personally, I think they just come to Delhi and everything that is within a train journey can be done from here, and then if we want to go to Darjeeling or the jungle then we will have to do that from the UK. But once again, possibly not through Trail Finders.

Turns out you can call mobiles via Skype! So instead of costing everyone a fortune to phone me, it now costs a matter of pennies. And the reception is pretty good too. Amazing.

I keep burning more off my laptop so I am going to go to bed and instead burn the dye off my sheets.

 

23rd August

In absolute agony for most of the night. My body, which had been storing up my digestion, decided that tonight was the night and proceeded to vent itself in a very painful way. I was up from about 4 constantly up and down to the bathroom, until I eventually just camped out in there this morning. Absolutely horrifying. I was in so much pain, and just couldn’t get comfortable. I feel today is not going to be a great day…

As a continuation from this morning’s antics, I still feel a bit funny, but have so far kept two slices of toast in me, which is a great achievement. I hope that maybe it was just a single spurt, and won't continue…but who knows.

Got a call from the Vodafone man this morning who told me he was sending in my verification report without needing to see me. An interesting development. Have plugged my dongle in, but have not yet received any positive communication. I would love internet. AIM is closed today, so I cant go and camp out there. The computer room of the hostel has been closed as well, as apparently someone has damaged the computers. Though, to be honest, the computers were already in great disrepair.

It was not a single spurt. I managed to keep breakfast and lunch in me, and was in Coffee Day when the gurgling resumed. I made it back to the hostel, and decided some tea might help settle me, but had to run from the mess and use the drop toilet on the ground floor. I had to ‘go native’ as they say, and ended up trying to work out exactly how to cleanse myself without getting my jeans soaked. I managed to soak them anyway. There is no way I could have made it up stairs without a greater indignity taking place as having to use the hole and bucket. Completely horrifying. I hope tonight is nothing like last night, as I don’t know how I would cope.

Finally managed to finish Tom Jones today. It is quite a nice book, but I think it could have been a lot shorter and more to the point. It has all the issues with 18^th Century prose: too flowery and self-aggrandizing. Also, the prefaces to each book began to get more than a little boring by the 12^th book, and were more in the way than of any interest.

On the way out to Coffee Day earlier I was walking alongside the cholera filled gutter (though I am now sure it must be dysentery filled, as it smells not altogether unlike I did this morning) that runs along the middle of the pavement, when I came across a half of a jawbone in my way. It was fairly fresh, as still covered in bloodstains, but the flesh had been stripped from it. It was probably one of the stray dogs that run around the roads. It was completely horrifying, and I felt quite sick at the sight of it, as the other dogs must have attacked the creature and eaten it themselves. Also, the single bone added to the unusualness of it and my horror, than if I had seen a whole carcass. I suppose, with so many animals wandering the streets, it is only a matter of time before you must bear witness to one of their deaths, and this is the second dead thing I have seen. I have already seen a dog’s body lying in the middle of a busy street, obviously dead having been hit by a car. It really is incredibly sad to think that such a cruel fate happens to an innocent thing, but like all things here, there seems to be no prevention of any chaos. The dogs must be actively encouraged by the council here, as there is no waste management to speak of, and open defecation in the streets, so that the dogs will always roam there to find food. I don’t understand how the Indian people seem so easy with playing blind to all the rubbish and crap they see around them, which they must wade through all the time as they walk the streets.

I was going to eat plain things at dinner, but this was impossible. There was no chapatti and no plain rice. Only a spiced kind of rice, which I think will be my undoing when the night sets in. Already my stomach is protesting. It occasionally makes gurgling movements and I think it is a foreboding of what shall soon come to pass. As I felt like this in coffee day, and then had to run from the kitchen not twenty minutes later, I think the same is in store now.

Please let me survive the night! I have to say, I miss Iain and mum and dad quite a lot right now. I want a hug despite my disgustingness! 

22nd August

Three weeks down, thirteen to go. It feels like I have been here three months though.

We were meant to be going to the museum today, but the illness has put paid to that idea. I think we should just take it easy today, but Lauren seems to be adamant about going out to Khan Market to find books. I suppose at least there it is not too busy and there are a lot of places to sit down and eat.  Personally, I wouldn’t mind going to Model Town to get my internet sorted out. Lauren’s came to life this morning, and I am very jealous. However, this means I can hopefully use it to skype Iain later, and that would be completely wonderful. 

Went home as feeling a little ill and my laptop all out of charge. No sooner had I finished dinner, however, than I was back in AIM. Iain managed to gather the entire flat together to speak to me over Skype. Gavia, Frances, Merlin and Dan were all there, it was great to see Gavia and Frances finally. We spoke for about two hours before we had to leave AIM in order to make it home for curfew. I was so happy to see them. Marie was giggling at me for my ridiculousness, but it really was brilliant to have something nice and familiar!

On the way home, a taxi stopped next to Marie and she just go in it! Amanda and I were completely shocked and stopped to ask what the heel she was doing, the hostel being only 75 metres at most from where we were. We couldn’t believe she just brazenly got in a cab with some man who could have taken her anywhere and done anything to her. Completely stupid and naïve. She acknowledged her silliness, and said that David and Ward had warned her about it several times as she had already done it once before. Absolutely mad: it is all very European. 

21st August

Had my classes this morning, and I have to say Raj Kumar was ever so slightly better than he was before. But the increase is very slight, and he is still in the realm of awful.

It is very strange, but there seems to be a student rally of one description or another almost all the time here. Every English class I have, I hear chanting by the end of it. It is all very strange. I think there must be union elections happening right now, because there are flyers and posters every where and occasionally you see jeeps driving about with some guy perched on it all in white, with orange leis round his neck and the crimson mark. Very weird. Everything here takes on a slightly religious aspect, even the supposedly secular politics. Maybe the people I have seen have all been affiliated with the BJP though, so the Hindu dress would make sense in that case.

Ben and I went to South Delhi to see the Qutb Minar. Took my first ever bus journey from New Delhi metro to the minarette. It was actually not too awful. The conductor gave up his seat for us, and then decided to lean against me instead the entire trip. He was not a small man, and having his legs pressing into your own was not altogether pleasant. About half way there he actually made Ben get up as he wanted a seat, so I was jammed in next to the window and the conductor, who proceeded to put his feet up against my thigh instead. Lovely in every way. However, I survived intact, modesty and all. Along the road some boys came on the bus to sing out of tune and beat drums for money, much like on the Paris metro, except I think the Parisians are more talented.

Managed to get an Indian ticket at the Qutb Minar! So proud of ourselves. For foreigners it is 250 Rs to enter, but for Indians it is 10 Rs. We pleaded our residence as students and they actually allowed us through as Indians! This means that now where ever we go, we can get in on Indian prices with our student cards. Absolutely amazing. Finally, we have managed to beat a tiny portion of their bureaucracy!

The Qutb Minar is a huge minaret of about 250 feet high within a ruined mosque complex. It is built from red stone and then the top two tiers are faced with marble. It is in near perfect condition, the inscriptions in Sanskrit are still intact. The whole complex was beautiful. All these crumbling pillars from the 12^th century with facades of geometric patterning. Occasionally you could see the Indian influence creeping into the Mughal style, as there were occasionally little figures in the rock and curving leaf designs. In the middle of the complex there is also a tomb (which I have forgotten the name of) with a lovely marble alter inside, and again, the intricate stonework everywhere. I have to say, Islamic style art is completely breath taking. I know it must gall Indian Hindus to see their major tourist attractions as Islamic marks of imperialism, but they are completely beautiful. In the middle of the main courtyard of the mosque is an iron pillar of about 15 feet high. It is a very strange pillar, as despite it being purely iron, it has never rusted. It has defied scientists for a while now apparently, as no one can work out why this is. It has an inscription on the side in Sanskrit, which tells you that an Indian prince set it up in the 4^th century as a monument to the Gods. The minaret however, is still the main attraction. It was completely beautiful, and how they have managed to keep it in such good nick is beyond me.

Ben and I decided to call it a day, as Amanda and Lauren had called me to tell me they were sick and needed water and loo roll. We took the bus back, but halfway to the station the monsoon happened. Rain like I have never before seen just poured down. Within twenty minutes, it was pouring and lightning was breaking branches off trees. The streets became flooded, and soon the bus broke down completely near Connaught Place. As the water was now coming over the step of the bus, Ben and I decided the bus was a lost cause and went out into the storm. The water on the roads was thigh high and we had to wade carefully through it. The water was a horrible murky brown, and occasionally things would wrap themselves round your ankles. Completely disgusting. After about ten minutes of struggle, we made it to the higher ground at CP and went into the metro, where there was still a good two inches of water on the floor. Decided to take a wee breather in Coffee Day as I hadn’t eaten and we were both looking like drowned rats. Felt infinitely better having got some hot coffee and food in me. On the metro I felt absolutely disgusting and am pretty sure that I smelt. The train was packed out, so I was pressed against some poor person who would have got quite wet as a result. Ben talked about going home in December, and about places he wanted to visit and things. It is nice to know that he has begun looking, as I have been thinking about it as well. Shows we are on the same page as far as home is concerned.

Amanda called me again sounding absolutely terrible, so took a rickshaw to the top of our road and got them water and loo roll, then power-walked down the road with it. When I got to the top of the stairs to our floor I saw them both lying curled up next to the bathroom door looking completely dead. As soon as I got to them Amanda went into the loo, came back out looking like she needed to go to hospital, then disappeared again to be sick. Having been sick, she looked infinitely better. Apparently they had been projectile vomiting and unable to keep anything in either end for the past twelve hours. I felt so sorry for them. I am also quite confused, as we have been eating almost the same things all the time. So, really, I should have got it as well. We have come up with about three things they could have got it from, and it is so unfortunate that it has happened to them. Though, I do not know what we would have done if we had all been struck down with it. At least I was up and able to get water and coke for them. After dinner, Marie and I went over the street to get more provisions, and when I came back up we all went into Amanda’s room and having had some Coke, the two of them appeared to be so much healthier than before. We ended up talking about different forms of fetishistic fashion through the ages for quite a while, until they both felt too exhausted to stay awake and went to sleep. I hope they are better by the morning, as they looked so completely desperate when I turned up. I was ready to take Amanda to hospital, but it looks like the crisis has been averted for now. When it is my turn, I am sure they will do the same for me.

 

20th August

Eight days till my birthday! Exciting times! Apparently we are going to an Indian disco. It shall be amazing in every single way.

My class on Fielding this morning wasn’t all that interesting. though the lecturer did touch on an interesting point about the feminist reading of this text. I could cope without all the analogies towards Pride and Prejudice, however. My later lecture got cancelled, so Amanda and I went and got samosas and this thing called aloo puri, which is basically really hot potato curry with puri, which are like mini paranthas.  All very tasty, and as we were there fairly early as well, it was nice and hot and fresh. After lunch, we went to the road leading off from the Patel Chest Institute, which is a haven of illegal photocopy shops and bookstalls. Got a new history book, which our tutor had recommended to us for a good background to the topic. So all is well that ends well.

Ended up in Barista, where we discovered there was far better muffins on offer than in Coffee Day, including a cashew one that sounded extremely exciting. Having got a couple of coffees we began to wander round looking for shoes for Amanda. Found this tiny shop called Delhi to London, which had loads of mad little t-shirts with psychedelic prints. We were so happy, that we bought several. I also managed to get a purse, though I feel I was ripped off…damned tourist tax. Made our way down to Hindi, and learnt about four useful words, namely Monday to Thursday. The weekend however, we wholly neglected. This class has basically no structure whatsoever. Every so often we go on this completely random tangent that tends to end with much repetition of ‘Mai Huu!’ After the class we took a rickshaw to Kamal Nagar and sat in Coffee day for a while, though I nipped through to Barista to get a muffin. I was correct: they are delicious. Having sat around for a good wee while we pottered off to find Lauren a marker pen and some CDs for me to make David his educational mixes. Being successful, we came back to the hostel with half an hour to spare before dinner, which I utilized to go to the gym in. Only managed to run three km though before I gave up. Not too encouraging, seeing as I am usually ten or bust. I just can’t run on the treadmills…they are just so completely boring, even with music in.

Dinner had an exciting chickpea dish and greasy bread, which was halfway between chapatti and naan.  Most enticing.

I want internet so badly. The hostel computers are refusing to work as well. Bloody annoying. A trip to Model Town is looming ever closer.

Apparently tomorrow we are going sight seeing. Most exciting. We have had no chance of doing anything of the sort since we first got here. I need to stop spending money here though. For while life is cheap, it ain’t too cheap as to not keep track.

I need to sleep. I have another riveting lecture in store on Shelley with the idiot Prof Kumar (unlike the great Prof Kumar, who is absolutely intelligent and engaging.) Bah.

 

19th August

The Vodafone man did not come. Bastards. Lauren’s looked like it might have a sign of life tonight but then wouldn’t let her connect to the network, and apparently no one in the Vodafone help team can do anything. So back to the Model Town store we go. Fun times.

Today was pretty good. I had no classes, so spent the time waiting for the Vodafone man reading A Tale of a Tub by Swift. I got through it all, and while it is a little confusing, it is a pretty amazing book as well. The allegory within it, the constant digressions and confusions...it is hard to get your head around but in a pleasing way. After lunch we went into the Uni for our Hindi class and learnt about five useful words. It was basically a repeat of last class, but this time he told us how to count to four. Amazing. Now if only we had the other numbers leading up to a couple of hundred and we would be sorted with the rickshaw men, That, or directions, would be so useful right now.

I want internet! Stupid people. I spent my last rupees last night on calling Iain. Bah.

After Hindi, we went and bought a couple of metres of fabric from the store on our street, and the man thought we were mad for not buying five in order to make a saree. After that we went to sit in the AIM café and I got an amazing ginger, lemon and sugar tea that was just perfection in everyway. After that we went out to the cinema down the road. It was incredibly weird. Firstly, you had to be searched in order to get in. Secondly, there are two levels of seats for these films: stalls, or cheap seats, or the balcony. We chose the cheaper seats. The cinema inside was a horrendous orange colour with a faded out pattern that must have been put up in the 1970s. All the chairs were just as old, and were effectively seats strapped together. The film was Kaminey, and it was a sort of gangster-action film. It was about two brothers, one called Gudduh and one called Charlie, who were twins. Gudduh tries to marry a girl, after getting her pregnant (we think), but she is a mob boss’ daughter and he gets beaten up. At the same time, Charlie works for a gangster at the horse races, and then finds a huge amount of cocaine and plans to sell it. However, corrupt policeman finds Gudduh, thinking it is Charlie with the stolen cocaine. The mob boss finds Charlie, thinking he is Gudduh. And then there was another gangster, we think the owner of the cocaine, thrown into the mix. It all ended in a massive gun battle in which Charlie tosses the cocaine into the fire and redeems himself, saving Sweety (pregnant one) and Gudduh. Charlie is then shot, but at the very end appears to be very much alive when he gets a call from Gudduh, who has just fathered twin boys (shock). There were only two or three bollywood moments, most upsettingly. Also, the film had incredibly strange cinematography and it kept jumping all over the place, and cutting to random symbolic scenes. I am sure it made tones of sense if you watched it in English, but we were watching it in Hindi. The only word I managed to decipher was ‘kyaa?’ which means ‘what?’. What made the film more interesting, was the general shoddiness of the reel, the intervals half way through that lasted all of thirty seconds, and the constant answering of mobile phones and having a wee chat. The film was so loud however, that this was for once hardly a problem.

After the film we went to a juice stall and got some OJ, which was awesome, as we were all parched. After that, we walked up the road and got water (the man now knows us, but I shocked him by asking for ‘do panni’ rather than just pointing and numbering on my fingers.) Ben went up the road to Gwyer, and we came inside. Marie was in the internet room, where there was no internet.

Went along to Lauren’s to see about the net, but there is still nothing doing. Amanda tried to hold a cigarette to her mosquito bites to try and suck the poison out, but I think she just ended up burning herself. Kaus swears by it, but I think it may be mind over matter in his case, as it seemed to bugger all but burn poor Amanda’s already aching foot. I know how it feels, I had one on my foot last week and I have to admit, the feet are the most painful. I think it must be to do with the pressure as you are walking around all day. Ah well. Who knows?

18th August

I slept in over my theory class today. I feel really bad about it, as I have yet to make it to one, so I have now missed three Plato lectures…not good! I made it in for History as well, and the man in the canteen let me have tchai despite not having the money on me right then. Trusting! My history lecture was really good this morning. Found out we need to do one 5000 word essay probably and little else, which sounds fine to me. Need to confirm it though, but we shall see. The lecture today was on the rise of the Viceroy after the 1857 revolt and the changing nature of the council. It was really interesting, and our lecturer recommended a book that we should get for an overview of the subject in order to brush up on our skills. He seemed to have a very high opinion of Crispin though, so obviously he ain’t all bad, at least within the realm of academia.

Amanda and I made it home for lunch, which was just as well, as I seem to have acquired my appetite. However, this is not without issue as I seem to be going the opposite way to Delhi Belly…I need fruit I think. After lunch I went up to the gym and was just showering when the Vodafone man appeared. Ran downstairs still fairly soaked and found out that he wasn’t here for me. He was here for Lauren alone, which is just ridiculous as we got the internet together and specified the timing together as well. I couldn’t believe it, and yet I should have expected something like this. Lauren’s isn’t working as of yet anyway, so perhaps if he turns up tomorrow morning we can get it all sorted out. I want internet so badly! I spent twenty minutes on the phone to Iain and ended up spending 200 Rs. Not good. It means that I will have to get back to Reliance soon to recharge yet again. Bloody annoying, asi hate that shop with a passion. Perhaps I will wander along tomorrow before Hindi.

This afternoon we went out to Coffee Day and I had a new iced coffee which I think is my new favourite: it is nice and strong and very icy. The Coffee Day people think we are absolutely mad, as we just commandeered their restaurant and made a huge song and dance about everything. Lauren was literally singing at one point. We were so hyper. Lauren and I went out for a walk to get rid of some energy and I found a little shop that sold Chinese sticks for my hair and that made me happy. Also got a massive glass of pineapple juice for 20 Rs which made me happy. Though I may be poisoned by it: it is my first experience of stall-based goods. We shall see how I am in the morning. I think if I survived the coffee in the god-awful India Club at Parana Ganj, I can survive anything. Though who knows, I might have worms or something from it instead.

17th August

So today it rained again. I ran from the bus to the Art building and still managed to get soaked in the thirty seconds I was out. It was glorious.

I had my second ever theory lecture today on Sidney this morning, and I have to say this Prof Kumar is a hell load better than the other one. He made sense, and not only that, he was challenging, engaging and incredibly insightful. I think I am going to enjoy his class. Yet another lovely lecture from Prof Chakranbati (I think that is his name…) on Swift. I need to get to reading that book…I feel I can’t keep up in his classes and I have been too absorbed in Tom Jones lately. Variety is the spice of life they say.

This afternoon I finally went and got more credit from Reliance. I also shocked myself by having some lunch. That is like…three times in one week! 

We had our second Hindi class today. The teacher just keeps on saying ‘Mai hu!’ at us every so often. I understand it is probably a corner stone to the language for him, but he really doesn’t need to repeat it so enthusiastically constantly. We are not brain dead; we do have a memory of more than five seconds. I think these classes will be ultimately beneficial, though I think starting off with something other than Devangari script and instead things like numbers, directions etc would be just more useful. Particularly for the rickshaw drivers who just disbelieve everything we say and then charge us ten rupees more than everyone else because we are white.

Tonight we got the sarees out for the first time to go to dinner with the International Students Dept. It was sort of ridiculous. The whole thing seemed to be a triumphal meeting for Delhi to say that they had done so well, when in reality they have done jack shit to help us and make our time here any easier to get into. They have bugger all idea about anything to do with us. We were proud of David for getting up and saying that we had been unable to think about the wonders of India as we had almost been made homeless. Women kept on coming up nd complementing us on our sarees though, and I feel proud that they stayed on the entire night seeing as it is my first time tying one. It did have a lot of pins in it of course…but you know…

It was quite funny. The Guest House totally out-did themselves food wise. There was chapatti and naan and everything you could possibly want. I need to stop eating so much. It is not good!

16th August

Today it was raining again when I woke up to go the gym. It is very nice here when it rains, if a little flooded and muddy. It’s comforting to feel the drops, and feel clean again, and almost as if I am back in Scotland, where it is raining all the time.

Lauren and I went out to get our wifi sorted at the Vodafone shop today. It took three and a half hours to get a USB modem, a SIM card for it and to fill in two forms. Bloody useless people. Apparently they need to come and visit us at the hostel as well to make sure we live here, because evidently our government stamped proof of address is a lie. So they are coming on Tuesday afternoon. If they don’t come, we will kill them all. I need wifi! Poor Iain is spending way too much money calling me and things…I feel really guilty, but there is not much I can do about it at the moment. Reliance wasn’t open…so no recharge. I don’t know if I can be bothered trying to sort out my phone credit issues. I just want to be able to call home!

We had to repair to coffee day to recover from the Vodafone horror. But, shock horror, the coffee day in Model Town has no bathroom! Not good.

The rain began almost as soon as we left the café and continued as we walked to the top of the road to get an auto. By that point, a distance of 200 metres, we were soaked to the skin. It was an incredibly pleasant feeling: to be wet to the skin, but not with sweat. It felt cleansing, unlike yesterday in the mud pool of Parana Ganj.

By the time we got into the hostel in time for afternoon tea, we were dripping wet. The nuns in the foyer giggled at us as we squelched in to the mess and squelched out again after our tchai. I have eaten quite a lot today, which is encouraging. I think the gym this morning has increased my appetite. I will need to begin going more often! That, or find salad, but I doubt I ever will except at Café Turtle.

We watched the remainder of Raising Arizona tonight: the one good Nicholas cage film in existence. It’s a Coen Bros film, so you know it is going to be completely whacky and brilliant, even with the Cage. He looks like my dad did when he was younger, except dad had black hair of course. But the general tall frame, largish nose and moustache are a striking resemblance to my father’s. I should really have spent this time reading Tom Jones…but oh well. I am beginning to lose interest in the lull that is Book 8. 259 pages down…500 or so to go. If I get it read by the end of term I will be happy.

15th August

Today is Indian Independence Day. The President gives a speech from the Red Fort but no one goes along to it really. We had an interesting conversation the other night with the Indian girls in our dorm room about politics. One of them proclaimed herself an atheist and a communist. Her father is even a member of the party. She told us that apart from the Communist there is no ‘left’ in Indian politics. The Congress merely gets the label of liberalism because they are secular, unlike the BJP. Their policies are the same, but the BJP comes with the added dimension of hatred that is not evident in Congress. She seemed so disaffected, and yet so passionate about the failings of those in power. I have noticed as well all the student organizations here carry a political allegiance and a degree of militancy that is not expressed at home. Last week there were demonstrations, and even a hunger strike went on to protest against a government bill on education. The militancy of Indian students certainly surpasses anything ‘Rent For Less’ could do at home.

This afternoon we went out to Parana Ganj and waded through the streets for a couple of hours. We didn’t really think about the fact that it had been raining, and the street there is just compacted mud, which had turned to thick sludge. Every time a Tuc Tuc came by you got sprayed with the muck. There are cows in that part of the city as well, so it was probably not just the usual combination of muck and piss. We bought some trousers (I have succumbed to the harem pants) and some little elephant wall hangers. I got a beautiful bright yellow beaded hanging for my wall.

We got fed up of wading and went up to a roof top café, only to be assailed by millions of flies. The coffee tasted slightly funky as well, so we left quickly. If I am poisoned, I will not be best pleased. It was almost worth it though, as we saw hundreds of kites up in the air. There were kids standing on every available rooftop flying multi-coloured paper kites, and it was quite spectacular.

We decided to go to Connaught Place early to see about getting a bag before dinner. Apparently the Dutch folks have booked a place for us all. Went to this awesome bag shop and got a knock-off Chloe bag for a1500 Rs. It is black leather and quite big, so I will be able to put a lot into it, which is nice.

Dinner was weird. We went to this Thai restaurant, and I had a really nice plate of Phat Thai noodles. It was nice as well to see the American we met the other night again. He is really sweet and a good talker, like all Americans hahaha. But half the Dutch buggered off after the meal and didn’t leave enough money which was annoying. David was funny though; he clapped his hands like a little girl when we told him about the soft furnishings in Fab India. He is so incredibly gay, and yet straight in reality. Metro I guess…very European. Also he likes Roxy Music, so I will have to give him some Talking Heads and some Bowie to cement his glam education. The more Eno, the better.

I think there are bugs in my room and I can’t find them. One was crawling in and out of the keys of the laptop before I caught up with it and managed to squish it. I think I might get the spray off Amanda tomorrow and give it a good once over before I go out anywhere. Not a nice sensation to think there are bugs everywhere. Euch.

14th August

Today we get to move into our new rooms! It is all very exciting, so we have to go out and buy soft furnishings in order to actually live in them.

I went to the gym this morning, and I have to say I felt better for it. It is awfully hot, so I couldn’t do more than half an hour, but it felt nice to be doing something familiar to me.

Spent the morning in the Japanese café that we found the other day. I had had Bingsoo last time, which is a sort of crushed ice and sherbet dish that you eat with fruit or a paste. I had red bean and banana, and though it is a weird sensation, it was very tasty. This morning though, I opted for a pomegranate tea ice shake. Had a look through Indian vogue and I have to say, it is just not as good as British or any other vogue I have come across. It just seems too tacky and not enough substance. This issue featured Shilpa Shetty, and her cover was in a denim mini and a cross over crop top. It was an awful photograph and a tarty outfit, which never bodes well.

Went to khan Market to pick up our tops, and ended up in Fab India buying cushion covers. Me and Lauren figured that if we wanted cushions we may as well buy them from Royal Fabrics up the road, but buy nice covers from FI. A good plan, as it turns out. I am currently writing this propped up on a comfy and soft little cushion from the very place. We also found a bucket for laundry, soap powder, pins for our sarees and some oreo cookies. With all this laden in hand we went up to the Turtle Café again and I had a falafel wrap, which was very tasty. We have to stop coming to Khan Market though! It is too expensive to keep up and I just feel so western and posh when I am there. Too touristy, too clean and pretty, for me to feel wholly comfortable in. I am here to live after all, not glide over the surface.

Returned to the hostel laden with bags of stuff in preparation to shift to our new rooms. They call ‘moving’ ‘shifting’ here. It is very odd, as ‘shift’ has slightly negative implications in terms of movement. Decided we should have a quiet night, so turned down Ben’s offer of going into South Delhi to see some Hare Krishna parade. Instead we ate dinner and tried to watch Raising Arizona but only got so far. You need to watch it with the fan off, so you get really hot and drowsy. Not good!

In other news, it rained tonight. I love the rain here, it reminds me of home. Last night Iain played me Message in a Bottle down the phone to me and I burst into tears. It's never good when Sting is making you into a sop. This time will go like nothing, and I will be back soon enough.

My new room is very colourful, but I think I need some more hangings or something to cover up the dingy walls. I hope there are no more bugs. It feels so nice to unpack everything and get settled. My neighbor is called Karina and is from Afghanistan; she seems lovely as well.

Tomorrow I think I will try and do some reading. I need to do my theory class! Apparently we are going out again though, but not much will be open due to Independence Day. Damn all these holidays! We need a calendar. And wireless. Wireless is my new quest, now that I don’t have many more forms to sign.

 

13th August

Attended my history class again today and I have to say I felt so proud that I knew about what he was saying about the Talukdars and the Awadh rebellion. It was nice to feel informed. We feel a little awkward in the class, as we are very obviously British and the class is taught from a slightly anti-British perspective.

Went and sat for hours in Coffee Day, which was just lovely to chill out in. We are meeting a couple of Lauren’s friends from school tonight, but we have our interviews for the hostel beforehand. I asked the Bangladeshi girl that I met in the computer room what they entail, and she says you have to tell them what skills you can contribute to the house. We have no skills it would seem, so I may resort to something like ceilidh dancing. Everyone loves a good ceilidh, though it may be difficult here if there is no drink and no men (generally two very essential things at a ceilidh).

Our interview, which was supposedly at six, was of course, not until half seven. In it they just asked me about why I had come to India, and then the skill question. They seemed quite enthused by the ceilidh idea, and I would happily teach someone the Dashing White Sergeant if they teach me how to Bollywood dance.

We headed to New Delhi station to meet Lauren’s friends, but found out they had found Metropolis, our old friend, in Parana Ganj. It must just be a homing ground for tourists and general white people. Somehwo, we always find ourselves back in there despite telling ourselves we will branch out. A bit like Khan Market really.

It is a very small world. One of the girls traveling with L’s friends is from Bearsden! Manse Road, in fact! It is very weird that despite being thousands of miles from home, somehow I have met someone who lives five minutes walk from my house. It was nice to hear a Bearsden accent actually as well, and we had similar attitudes to almost everything. I had an amazing dinner, a sort of cottage cheese ball with a thick almond gravy with little bits of apricot through it all. I think I will have to come back just to have that again it was so good. We spent a long time in Metropolis, but they chucked us out at half twelve. By that point only 5 star hotels have an open bar, so we headed to the Meridian Hotel in South Delhi. I have to say, I have never been in such a posh hotel. Everything was minimalist and perfect down to the last detail. We were escorted into a black and shiny bar at the back of lobby and got some extremely expensive cocktails. I swear, we may as well have been at home in that place. The bathroom was amazing, about twice the size of my room at home and many times as grand. I seem to have become obsessed with bathrooms since I have got here, but I now know what it is to appreciate a good bathroom, so I can be forgiven.

My gold chain with the spider web pendant from Paris has begun to give my a very itchy and annoying rash on my neck. It forms a perfect circlet of red spots. Attractive.

This was our last night of freedom before we have to submit to curfew of 11pm. A well done job I feel. We deserved alcohol to make up for the horror of Tuesday.

 

12th August

Began today thinking it could only ever be better than yesterday. Amanda and I went to the foreign students office to get our forms back but, surprise surprise, it was not open until eleven. So we went to Kamal Nagar and went to get a tchai latte in barista. All very civilized. When we got back to the office, they had actually signed our forms, and it was all very hassle free. We were shocked. I had bristled up and geared for a fight this morning, but no. For once, everything went as it should have gone in the first place.

We decided to use our good luck to the maximum and go to the Embassy to get our form signed today. I have to say, the British Embassy is absolutely lovely. No one knew where we had meant, but a nice officer directed us to it and when we went through the security huts at the entrance and emerged in the court yard, it was like heaven. There is a lovely and huge fountain in the middle of the court and then there is a small, clean and air-conditioned office just to one side of the building. We waited in there for two hours while they wrote us a (expensive) letter introducing us to the hostel. Apparently this should do us fine. This wait wasn’t nearly as bad as yesterday. It may have been two hours, but it was two hours in a lovely little room, complete with internet and water cooler. Also, the bathrooms were lovely and clean. Always a major plus in my book. The FRRO bathrooms were effectively mountains of shit (or shit swimming in what was probably piss) that you had to add your own depository to. Absolutely horrible.

After the embassy we decided a trip to Khan Market was necessary to calm ourselves down and have some lunch. We need to get sarees for a dinner that we have been invited to on Monday night with the Vice Chancellor of the University. Sahu will probably see it as a gesture of solidarity, or something. Any way, we went and bought sarees from the little shop next to the alley that takes you to Bari and Sons. I bought a deep purple one with gold and pink bordering. Amanda and Lauren got a similar style, but in different colours. We then had to visit the tailor to make the little crop tops that go underneath. The woman in the shop helpfully gave us a demonstration of how you wear the saree as well, so hopefully we won’t be too useless on Monday.

Went to the Full Circle book shop café, called the Turtle Café. It is a really lovely little place selling mainly Lebanese and Turkish style food. We were over the moon. Mediterranean food thankfully meant fresh vegetables that weren’t cooked and curried! Everything was still spicy, but not in the way that our dinners are. I had a Moroccan chickpea salad that made me incredibly happy, as it was so simple and so tasty. I have never felt so happy to have fresh cold food. We have vowed not to come back to Khan Market for a while, as we need to branch out into other areas of the city. Though we will need to come back on Friday for our tops…

Apparently Friday and Saturday are holidays. Friday is Krishna’s birthday, and Saturday is Indian Independence day. The President makes a speech from the Red Fort, but the Indian girls in our dorm room say that it is nothing very special and that they wouldn’t go. There are no street celebrations either apparently, which is disappointing.

 

11th August

We had no more success. Today was possibly one of the worst of my life, and certainly my worst day since I have been in India. We spent 8 hours in a queue.

We got to the FRRO at 9.30 for it opening, and we only managed to wind our way up the massive outer queue to get a form to fill in and then be allocated a number and a counter desk, which would designate our new place in a new queue. We managed to get the number at about half eleven. But by the time the men were going on lunch break at half one, we knew we were in for the long haul. This mad English man and his poor family who were all trying to re-register didn’t help it. They all had the green swine flu masks on, and the little girls looked like tortured souls in the making. They were wearing Indian dress as well, and the parents looked old. Not a combination I feel for these little girls’ stability of mind. I hope they don’t turn out as mad as their father.

When we finally got to the front of our queue, they told Amanda and Lauren that they needed to pay a fine, and that they had been in the country for more than two weeks. However, they had arrived two weeks ago today, so that is technically inclusive in the two week time limit. Or so we thought. When they tried to explain why they were supposedly a day late, the men just pointed to calendars and counted the days for us. It was so incredibly patronizing. We knew what day it was! So bloody typical of male officials in this place. As soon as you complain they treat you as if you are dumb monkey. In the end Amanda and Lauren decided to just pay it so we could leave (it then being 6 pm) and go home to the hostel. I have never felt so dispirited and annoyed in all my life. 

We had to stop in Coffee Day on the way home (there is one in Rajiv Chowk! Amazing!) in order to recuperate. When we finally came back to the hostel, we all so exhausted. We just ate and went straight to sleep. It was so completely horrific. I have never had to do anything like that in my life. The horrible little crowded room, the mountains of untouched and unnecessary paper, the poor children dragged along by their weary parents…you wonder what the point of it all is.

10th August

This morning I had a fantastic lecture on Swift from the 18^th century literature man. I need to remember his name! He was just brilliant, I was captivated by it all. I am so happy I have picked that course. I met him after the lecture and asked him about my assessments and hinted at the lengths I expect my essays to be. I asked him if he knew Colin Nicholson, as he has written loads of books on satire and finance and the rise of capitalism, but he told me he only knew him by name. He said he led a double life, as his son unfortunately is autistic, and he can’t keep up with the literary world as much as he could. I felt surprised at his openness, but I have noticed that a lot of people here have no embarrassment. He asked me about my family and I told him that my parents look set to come and visit me in October. He said the Himalayas were particularly beautiful at that time of year, so I think I will have to persuade dad to come with us. I went to the English Office today to pick up my term time calendar thing, and they pretended not to know me again. They told me there was no way I could get a calendar, and told me to go back to Professor Sandpathi as he would be able to direct me, straight back, to the office. I swear, if I was male, I would not have this problem. They hate me. They have asked me to verify my identity about five times, have several letters proving I am meant to be there and yet, every time I go in they have somehow completely erased me from memory. Bastards.

After this I went to meet Amanda and Lauren and we went to the foreign student office to get our forms signed. Got told there was no way they would be signed before 2pm, which was absolute balls. I swear, all this for the sake of a stamp and a signature! Twats.

We went to the foreign registration office instead. I unfortunately left the address in Coffee Day, but we found one auto driver who seemed to know where it was. But then when we got there, they firstly didn’t know what we wanted, and then told us it was only operational from 10am to 12. In absolute frustration, we went to Khan Market to calm ourselves down. We pottered around the shops, bought stationary and a Hawaiian style shirt. It is a bright blue with lurid pink flowers all over it and I love it not a little bit. We then sat in Barista for about three hours having various coffee concoctions (there is no such thing as a ‘coffee’ here. If it doesn’t come with ice cream and chocolate sauce, it isn’t a real drink here.) until we decided to up sticks and go to Fab India again. We also found a sari shop that had some beautiful saris for only 500 Rs. So we shall have to go back there for our saris when we get invited to anything formal.

We bought some tasty fruit again and went back to the hostel in time for dinner, which had chicken involved again. Most exciting. I managed about five minutes on the internet before it conked out on me again. The electricity is going off here every five minutes. Very annoying when you are trying to write or read, but we have got so used to it that we just stop and wait patiently for it to stagger back into life. We just seem to be chilling out now. I am glad the Norwegian girl is going to come with us to the ACTUAL registration office (we were incorrect it seems) so we should have more success tomorrow with that and the embassy hopefully. God this country and its infernal bureaucracy!!

 

9th August

Well today we got up really early and threw on some trousers to go get fruit from the stalls up the road. We found one shop that had loads of fruit and juice in it so we stopped and I got pomegranates, pears and orange juice. I am so happy just to have juice it is unreal. I haven’t had any fruit juice since I have been here and I feel so unhealthy right now anyway.

When we came back we tried to do some work in the library, but gave up after an hour or so. Went for lunch, and was mildly surprised that I ate anything, but I guess I have to try and get into the habit of food again. I am just so conscious of how fattening everything here is and I am worried I am going to be like a house side by the end of the month, never mind the year. There is a gym here though, and I hope I can use it once we have applied properly and got a room here. I need to do exercise or I will go insane!

Apparently at dinner there is a hidden dish that you have to go and ask for. We were talking about missing meat, and Lauren said that she had seen a girl with chicken, and that apparently there is meat, it just isn’t out. You have to search for it or charm the mess into giving you it. Its just so bloody typical. We were laughing for ages because, really all you can do is laugh. This entire place seems to work to a logical line and then bang! A mystery, hidden dish lands on your plate. Or not, as the case may be. Nothing is easy in this place, nothing makes any logical sense. When we get back to Edinburgh I think that we will be so shocked when everything runs smoothly, when people are on time for things, or when things happen when people told you they would. How will we cope when all our lecturers turn up on time? When buses leave when they are meant to? When a coffee may actually mean a coffee? It is all just madness. No concept of time exists: you can never be late or early for anything. Things just happen. The plot has already been lost, so what can we do but just take it all as it comes? Iain’s bet with me over who will have a mental break down first with our separate pieces of Indian experience looks like it may come out in my favour. I think so long as I expect nothing, and take nothing at face value, I will be ok. I think I might go get some juice and read my book.

There is a lizard on the wall, which we have named Percival.  He is not very competent at catching flies. In fact, he is useless.

At dinner we enquired about the hidden dish and lo and behold, chicken biryani appeared out of nowhere. Amazing. There was even ice cream! I am so happy with this dinner.

We sat in the TV room for ages tonight flicking through Indian TV channels. We found one that was just mad: it seemed to be a Indian version of Mr Right. Effectively, Indian men danced about in very well rehearsed routines with amazing singing and general bangra insanity. Apparently the woman on it is a bitch and has had tones of plastic surgery. We had a lovely tiny girl from Bhutan telling us what they were saying as they danced about in their ridiculous gaudy outfits. If it doesn’t have sequins, it ain’t good enough for nowt.

 

8th August

Apparently the Internet here does not let you on to facebook. However, it may just have been my computer. There is a wireless service here though, and I am going to find out if I can use it now as a guest, or if I have to wait for the password.

I have on my kurta and crazy pants, so I feel quite Indian. The showers are interesting here. There are loads of mosquitoes in them, probably because it is damp, and you have to swipe all the time to stop them biting. I think I may have been bitten on my forehead last night, but I can’t really tell. Hopefully they will not swell up like the ones on my arm and foot did. The blister on my foot has also progressed to a painful sore. Not nice at all.

Went to meet Amanda, Lauren and Ben to get signatures from the head of history for our hostel forms. We discovered a shack next to the library building that has stores of ringbinders full of illicit copies of texts. This place is a treasure trove. I managed to get binders of all of my texts for 18^th c literature for only 300 rupees. If you take them any book they will photocopy the entire thing for you for about 100 Rs. Absolutely amazing. Feeling millions of times better than before. This little shack is going to get a lot of business from me. I am going to have a lot of illegal books by the end of this year.

Afterwards we went to the canteen and got a papaya milkshake that tasted a little bit funky, but not so bad I didn’t drink it. Ben is getting in to Gwyer hall hopefully, so we are all feeling a little bit better about things.

Found an actual bookshop in Kamal Nagar market that had some really interesting books on post-modernist theory that were under a tenner all together. I liked the man in the shop, he had a great beard and kept producing post-modern theory texts from various corners of the stall. Unfortunately I couldn’t buy them all, but I am hoping that I will be able to find the books in the library and take them to my new best friends on the photocopy stand. Went to sit in Coffee Day with our new purchases for a couple of hours. I think I am getting my appetite back, as I had not only a frappe but also some date cake. I just need to get healthy food in me and not cake!

Tonight we are going out to meet Marie and David at Connaught Place to have a drink, which will be brilliant. It is nice to get out now that we have our bearings ever so slightly. And since we are in the Guest room, there is no curfew here!

The restaurant we met them in was called United Coffee House. It is a place of eighties glitz and sparkle. Everything was gold, gilt and plush fixtures. Even the chandeliers were tacky. There was cheesy sax muzak as well that had renditions of Burt Bacharach and yet seemed even more cringingly saccharine because of the general atmosphere. You just expected Timoth Dalton or Roger Moore to swagger in. They did however, do some amazing cocktails. I had a Singapore Sling that had a maraschino cherry in it and I was so happy. Lauren had a really nice Peach Mojito, and Amanda went for a Blue Lagoon, but it had no cherry disappointingly. We also got a slice of very rich chocolate cake and ice cream to share between us that was incredibly tasty and generally wonderful in every way. I have eaten a lot of cake today! It made a welcome change to the mystery desert of the Guest House. It was all very civilized, and I think I will have to bring mum and dad here so that they don’t think India is all street stalls and food poisoning.

Our rickshaw driver on the way home must have been the best driver in the world. He was a lot fitter than many of the others, and actually looked vaguely healthy and clean. His rickshaw even had enough room for four people as there was a seat fixed on the back as well. I think he might be a student by day who is just making some extra money by night. He didn’t have to walk once and we didn’t feel guilty at all. We even tried to tip him and he refused! I hope we have him again sometime.

I have to say, today has been pretty good. I think the past two days have been the most enjoyable since I have been here. I feel a lot calmer about this whole thing. Perhaps the shock of it all is wearing off. I think now we have somewhere to stay and a definite plan of action everything is taking a much clearer course. Maybe my hair will even stop falling out form all the stress. Who knows what wonders we shall have?

One slight annoyance: my phone is telling me I have 7 Rs on it despite the fact that I charged it up today with another 100Rs. Not helpful.

 

7th August

This morning’s classes were ok. The first was a very interesting lecture on Dryden, and I think the professor for 18^th C literature is fairly intelligent and interested in his subject. The second that I had was a lecture supposedly on Shelley, but the lecturer went off on a huge tangent about neo-classicism and what that meant. I swear it went along the lines of “Neo means new, and classicism means the classics.” Painfully dull. I am hoping the other literary theory classes are not so bad as that because that was just horrible. I mean, I could teach Shelley better than that and I have fuck all idea in comparison to the people in Edinburgh who would be teaching us. Sigh.

We moved out of the Guest House this afternoon. We had to carry our cases up to the op of the hostel, but it was worth it when we got a room to stay in. It looks like we are going to be staying here for the foreseeable future. It would be nice to have our own place. But here there is shelter, a clean enough bathroom with an actual toilet and food. There is even a gym and a TV room with a big flat screen. The madam here seems mad but nice, and I think so long as you keep on the right side of her she will look out for you. We need a lot of signatures in order to complete our registration here so next week will be spent running to and fro trying to get them all. We need to register at the Foreign Office as well, so I think we will try to go on Monday. To be honest, I am just glad to know I will have my own room and somewhere permanent to stay. The Guest House was nice, but it just felt so transitory that I couldn’t have been comfortable.

In the afternoon we went to Khan Market, which is heaven in comparison to everything else I have seen in this god-fore-saken city. It is in South Delhi, and we had to take an Auto to it from the station, as the metro doesn’t go that far yet. All the houses here are huge stately homes, with guards with guns outside them at sentry posts. We even passed the HQ of the BJP, which was interesting. We met Iya and Crispin in Café Barista, which is a sort of up-market version of Coffee Day. Iya took us to a bookshop, Barrisons, which did not have my English books, but did have some very interesting books on History. I bought one book on Science and Colonisalism, which I am very interested in. Iya then took us along to FabIndia, which may I say, is quite fab. Everything is stacked on shelves and you have to rummage for ages until you find anything, but the clothes are just so brightly coloured and comfy looking. Lauren and I found a pair of absolutely crazy pants that have this black and white patterning all over them. An Indian woman had to help us put them on properly though, as we had no idea of where to tie them up or anything. They are very strange. Very baggy at the waist so you have to draw them right in and then they are tight at the ankles, so you have to peel them off like a sock. We ended up spending a good 30 quid on outfits. I got the crazy pants, a red kurta with gold braiding, a white top and a red and black skirt, and turquoise green baggy pants and a darker green top with pink braiding. I also got a nice green-blue dupatta with flowers round the edge that I just couldn’t resist. I felt infinitely better after that. I have to say, retail therapy does work wonders. We all felt amazing having bought something. Combined with books and stationery, it was the perfect antidote to a week of hell.

We got back to the hostel in time for dinner, which included rice and noodles. Most exciting. It was very comforting to have Chinese style noodles for a change. They were oily just like from home. There was also this spicy potato curry that was amazing as well. I miss the chapattis of the Guest House though; they were good. 

6th August

Well, we are moving into the hostel it would seem. Ben has nowhere to go and Sahu is being a right twat about phoning anywhere to let him in to stay. This feels like such a mess.

Today I had my first History class in Imperial Controls. It was quite interesting, and the professor seems really passionate so I have high hopes. I also was not the only white person in the class which is slightly comforting.

Today Crispin came to visit us with Iya. We all got pretty annoyed dwith him when he began to make out that the whole Guest House, no accommodation thing was our fault. He also kept on excusing all our problems as “part of the experiment”. Not good enough! I think Ben was ready to murder him. He has been left with no where to stay because of Crispin. And he told us all this random crap about how we should stay in these old palatial hotels and things. Iya is far more on the ball than he is. We have yet to work out why she is with him at all. She is so calm and intelligent and beautiful, whereas he is balding, over-bearing and ultimately annoying. So their visit was completely unhelpful. Not particularly great. However, Iya says we should meet her tomorrow and she will show us where the good books stores are, so that is one good thing.

Spent this afternoon packing everything up to take to hostel. Apparently a Lithuanian girl is going to come to dinner and dissuade us from going to the hostel.

Went to an incredibly crowded piece of Delhi for dinner. We went to the Metropolis restaurant, which has a roof terrace, and didn’t give us food poisoning! I stuck to Indian food, but they had British and Western food on the menu as well, so Amanda got spaghetti. We had beer as well! Our first drinks here! It was amazing just to be out. I had a milkshake, a litre of beer, curry and naan for just 5.50. Not bad at all.

There were begging children in this part of Delhi. We haven’t had much of that before now and it is hard saying no to them. One girl’s face was burnt and the skin all twisted. You wonder what sick person had done that to her, probably just to make her a more effective beggar. I know that you are not supposed to give money to them, as you are just perpetuating the problem, but it seems wrong to leave them be as well. I don’t think I will ever be able to quietly ignore them. It isn’t like it is in Glasgow where beggars are old men or junkies, and even then they do get some help. There are services available to them, that many an ordinary Indian could only dream of. People sleep here across the pavement and you have to step round. There are even a couple of slum dwellings in the University grounds. It is very difficult to get your head around.

 

5th August

Today turned out to be Brother-Sister day, which is a festival in which brothers and sisters give each other a bracelet. And the university was closed. Not helpful! We need a calendar badly, as it is incredibly annoying not knowing which days things will be open and which things will not be.

We went to Connaught Place, which was deserted. It is grubby, and desolate and really nto what I had expected at all. I thought it would be quite cosmopolitan, with big shops and stores everywhere, but it was not at all. Quite annoying. Had some frozen yoghurt though, as had nearly fainted on the train. Not so good. We went up to Chandni Chowk as well, but it was just little shops, no market as had been promised. We shall need to look for it on a cooler day.

Had a look at Pardeep’s contract and there are various issues with it. They say they can chuck us out at any time, and that we have to look after the masonry of the building and stuff. These we obviously cannot do. Bloody annoying. They also say that an ‘Act of God’ can destroy the building but our right to rent is still in place. So that means we would have to give notice on a smoking crater? We need a lot of it changed before we can get to sign this thing at the court. They are very pushy about money as well, they keep on asking whne they get our deposit, but they will not get any thing until we have the contract ready and signed. According to Robert and Maria, two PhD students, they had to spend an hour and a half negotiating bit of the contract. I think much walking out may have to ensue before we get our actual contract, as we have already agreed. Tomorrow morning the Dutch folks are going with Pardeep to the court, so one of us will probably go along and make sure that our contract carries the exact same terminology as their contract. Other wise, I get the impression they will screw us over for everything we have if we don’t. P is coming round later to negotiate a little with us, so hopefully the Dutch folks can be present and can make plain their distaste for the whole affair.

Bah.

In other news, today has been the worst day in terms of wanting to go home. I have 112 days till I can, including this one. I cannot wait.  Your family remain your family no matter what, obviously I miss them terribly. But my friends, and my boyfriend, what if they forget me a bit? I don’t think I could cope with that. I want to see them so badly. I think it will be better once we have skype. I cannot wait to move out of this place and get into the flat where I can set up internet connection as soon as.

 

ETA: One of the Dutch guys pulled out. So we are all pulling out. Women’s hostel for us! And Ben seems royally buggered right now. 

4th August

Today I went to a morning of English Lectures. I had a really interesting one on Gogol and Cervantes, and there was another on Chaucer. I don’t find Chaucer all too interesting, though the lecturer is an English woman who was very clear and quite a good speaker. I tried to work myself out a timetable, and I think I have managed to do it: 2 English classes and 1 history. Next semester I will have to take two History and one English, but that is ok. I need to work out how I can be assessed. I think it looks like some big ass essays…but we shall see.

We went to Deepa’s office and gave in our passport photos. Then we went and had another milkshake in Coffee Day and went to get some internet. Lauren has acquired a stalker and so we tried calling their number in Reliance, as we are sure that is where he must work. How else could they have our phone number?

Went with Mr Pardeep and his brother to visit the landlord’s house. His mother was there and she made us some lemonade and biscuits, and then retired to the other side of the room and looked on. The way they treat women here is pretty strange. They only answer you if they have to, but if there is a man with you they will speak to him and him alone. Women seem to be relegated to ‘meek and mild’ status and we are expected to cook and be quiet I think. It is annoying when men stare at you on the street or on the metro, as you have to just look down and not stare back because it is immodest. Weird.

Managed to negotiate our contract fairly well however. Pardeep’s brother has invited himself to our flat for dinner one night. We need to sort out furniture as well, and apparently we can do this on Thursday. So hopefully, all is fairly well.

3rd August

SO here I am. I feel a lot better about this whole palava today. We went to the History and English buildings, and to see Deepa, Sahu’s infinitely more competent secretary. She gave me the letters I need for my SIM card and fr the English dept. No one here except Sahu seems to know that we were coming. But h well, they appear to be ok with taking us on. I need to decide what courses to do and when, I think I will go along to an English lecture tomorrow morning to see what is what. Introduce myself and shiz. After the lectures I need to get more phone credit so I will go along with Ben.

Went to Coffee Day for first time, and got an absolutely awesome strawberry milk shake, It was just the sugar high I needed to get myself through the afternoon. Went as well to get my SIM card photo from the man in the photo shop. He told me that my hair was too scruffy and that it needed brushed out. Then he took me up to this room and made me pose in various angles and smiles and declared me so excellent he didn’t even need to airbrush me. How nice is that?

We met with Pardeep again to discuss the flat arrangements. He seems unhappy with us that Ben has pulled out, but it is not our fault. We asked to see three bedroom ones instead, but there is possibly a chance of getting it for cheaper if we find a fourth roommate. The chances of that seem slim however. I don’t know…it was a nice flat, but I don’t know if I can put so much on the line.

Saw three green parrots today, so am quite happy. I need new clothes to keep cool in. Apparently Crispin is taking us to FabIndia on Thursday. Should be interesting.

Arrival

Well then. For a first day, I can’t say it wasn’t hectic. Ben and I arrived into Indira Gandhi airport at about 11 in a cloud of dust and heat. Walking out of the plane was like hitting a wall made of fire. I have no idea what temperature it is outside, but the heat and the city have created a lot of dust. So not only is it hot, it is also humid and over cast. Suffocating is the word really. I hope I never have to suffer any bathroom like the airport ones ever again, though I fear I may have to yet. What a ‘Welcome!’ Sick in the sink and a dead cockroach on the floor of the “toilet” (though I think it must be a humorous euphemism) that had most probably drowned in piss and god knows what else. Not a pleasant start to your day having had three hours of sleep. The taxi ride from the airport was also a little interesting. Just to note, the taxi to the Uni only costs 300 rupees for to including bags and if they are charging you more then they are ripping you off. There is no regard here for such simple road rules as lane designation, or safe distances. Every car looks smashed up on Indian TV programs not because the drivers can afford nothing else, but because they drive like lunatics so that even a hummer would have a sizeable dent in the bonnet by its third outing. They like to use their horns too, and swerve at the last minute. They also have no seatbelts: safe and reassuring! Getting to the Guest House was ok though, we didn’t get lost like the other two did. Once we arrived Lauren took Ben to get his photo taken and I had a shower. I couldn’t cope with this oppressive blanket of smog. Met the Dutch exchange students who we may be sharing a building with if all comes off. They all seem lovely if a little loaded. I think they have very different ideas to us about what being here should be like, but they seem nice enough and it is nice to have friends. Lauren showed me some of the courses available for history and when they are on. I will need to go and speak to Deepa, Prof Sahu’s infinitely competent secretary, who can hopefully provide some clue as to what is going on. Apparently Sahu did not even know we needed assessment, which is always encouraging. Classes seem to be run on a ‘turn up and say hi’ basis where you submit essays and that way they know you took it. Not encouraging either, really, but we shall see how it goes. I also need a SIM card and internet access would be a god-send. I want to talk to people at home so much!

 We went with the estate agent man to find the flat Lauren and Amanda found as well. He has one of the most annoyingly whiney voices imaginable. He took us for juice, gave us a view of the lake, and then took us to our flat possible. It is a lovely building in what looks to be an OK area of town. There are a lot of cows in this part of Delhi it would seem. The flat is unfurnished, with marble floors, balconies and a roof terrace. Not bad for 130 a month. Though, we have to pay A LOT upfront and we don’t know how we will manage that one. But we will see. Mr Agent also took us to a Hindu temple. He had decorated the pit thing to Lord Shiva with all these flower garlands himself, and felt very proud it would seem. It was quite nice to actually see inside one of these places, though I don’t know if we were very welcome to be honest. A lot of people gave us a lot of weird looks. But oh well, such is life. It was probably Lauren’s blonde bob more than anything else.

 

 

In other news, I want a purple glittery sari. Now please? Kthanxbai.